"Nothing's ever gonna work for me..."

my day was absolutley horrendous.

i got a new job - which i can work from home. i did last week, checked last night all good. woke up this a.m. and the net connect kept booting me off. i plug it into my home pc - works fine. gotta use the ladies car to drive 45min south to work office - and i can only put in a half day - which dominoes a slew of factors the royally fuck up my whole week and plans i had to actually be productive. then i lose my girls' keys - she wants to figure out why these things happen to me constantly (That makes no sense! its not logical!")- missing web development class, best part of my week; and of course it some wicked fancy shit to it, so AAA can do nothing. got to get it owed to a dealer or get dealer to make a new on ($$$$$$$).
then at work, went to print out a list of close by dealers - can route my cpu to the printer ("it works on mine - i just do this step - this escapes all logic").

then i find out dj night - probably cancelled - no 'entertainment license' - we sit in a corner with fuckin iPods, not a DJ booth and lights and shit! what? wicked stupid. the i went to check out emptyhandspvd.libsyn.com - seems i uploaded 65 minutes (123mbs) of silence. and iTunes rejected it.

THE COMMON THREAD IS ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

if i don't end it tomorrow and save the world from my disease and my self from crippling, unfixable frustration; i am getting the Matt Brotka razor blade flash "Do It!" next to a vein. And to balance my "RFA", getting : "RTD" (...ready to die).

this sucks. fuck.

the immortal words of the greatest hardcore song:

"You try to make things work and gain something
It's all no use, it's all worth nothing
Complete satisfaction is too impossible to believe
Nothing's ever fucking gonna work for me
Tomorrow seems so hopeless can't keep it off my mind
Another day of nothing I'm running out of time
I've got nothing I can look forward to
I'm always left with nothing
I'm always told things I don't want to hear
My destiny's become quite clear
Life's never fucking given nothing to me
It's just stood by and watch me bleed "

- Negative Approach, "Nothing"